DVD
by Themasterchef
Summary: a story of how an innocent night with the parents is ruined bu a rather tasteful home movie of Emma and Killian's. tied in with the story The Test, but can be read on it's own.


**so, for those of you who don't know, i am the author of a fic called the test and this is a spin off from something mentioned in my latest chapter. there are some references to that story in here, but you don't need to read it to enjoy this story. it's just a fun tibit. i hope you like it!**

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_Well this is terribly awkward_, I think as I silently chew my steak and try to ignore the daggers being stared at me by the prince. _What is his problem?_ Everything is finally going great in my life, I have the most amazing woman, I adore her son, and I am finally free of my revenge, and it seems like this _charming_ man has a problem with me.

"David, did you hear what I said?" Snow asks her husband sweetly, pulling us both into the conversation her and my lovely Swan were having._ Swan._

He shakes his head, "No, sorry dear I was thinking of something else."

"Admiring the view, weren't you mate?" I can't help but jibe him. Emma rolls her eyes and stuffs a potato in her mouth to keep herself from sassing me.

The prince looks at me with utter disgust. "I hate you." He says quietly. "I really hate you."

"Dad!" Emma shouts with food still in her mouth. Snow stares at her husband with shock and a little amusement.

"Well it's true!" he gets louder to match her tone. "Seriously Emma! Out of all the men in the kingdom, in the world, you pick this guy?!"

"It's the pirate thing isn't it?" I ask, glad that we can finally put this hostility out in the open.

"Among other things, like you being hundreds of years older, a murderer, a womanizer, selfish, and overall untrustworthy." The amusement in Snow's eyes has left.

"Charming that's unfair, you know Killian is a good man now."

"All this to the man who saved your grandson, and your life." I mutter under my breathe. How easily he forgets all I sacrificed going back to Neverland to retrieve Henry. Not to mention the fact that I had to go on an insane suicidal quest to get the antidote for the stab wound he got on our _first_ night. This family suffers from selective memory.

"I hate to break it to you _Dad_," Emma buts in, unable to let anyone fight her own battles. What a woman. "But I'm a grown woman and I can be with whoever I want, and that so happens to be Killian."

"But you can do better sweetie." He pleads with her.

"No go on, it's not like I'm in the room or anything." Snow shoots me a look that says now is not the time for smart ass remarks.

"I didn't invite you over here tonight for you to criticize my relationship. If you can't live with the fact that Killian and I are together, then you can leave." Emma finishes, looking beyond sad. It kills me to see the lass in so much pain. I know she is fearful that her family won't except us and abandon her. I must do everything in my power to make sure that does not happen. I look back to the prince who is running his hands through his hair, thinking what to say to convince her I am the scum of the Earth. The time for Captain Hook is over, it's Killian Jones' time to talk.  
"David, I know you don't like the idea of me being with your daughter, and if I had a daughter I probably would want better than me for her too. But I love Emma, completely. And as long as she'll have me, I'm never going anywhere. I know you don't want to leave Emma, so you don't have to like me, but if you could just tolerate me that would be enough. And know, that I will never hurt Emma or Henry, they mean more to me than any treasure in this world." That last part I say as I look at Emma, and I see all the love I feel for her reflected in her eyes. I can't believe after all these years I have found the one person who was meant for me. Who understands me completely and is my perfect match. Her parents see the look in our eyes, and even though Snow looks over whelmed with joy at her daughter's happiness, Charming still looks reluctant.

"Emma, I love you and want what's best for you. If you think that's this man, I will trust your judgment. If you ever go back on your word, though Killian, I will end your life without hesitation." Snow and Emma both sigh and shake their heads, and I give the prince a huge grin.

"See, was that so hard mate?" I slap him on the back. I can see the temper in him rising and I laugh out loud as all three get up from the table. I see many years of pranking and annoying this man in the future.

"Killian, put the movie in while we clean up won't you?" Emma commands of me. I nod and go over to the magic picture box. Some things in this world are still a mystery to me. I'll never understand how putting a circular object into the machine will make any play you wish appear on the screen. I pick one from the pile of many and put it in the slot, and will the movie _Warm Bodies_ to play. I think that's how it works. Oh wait, I have to press the "play" button first. The prince and I sit on the couch and I press the button to start the show.

_Aghhh Killian, mmm, lower. Damn it!_

_Please, love, can you be more specific? What is it that you want me to do?_

_"KILLIAN! I want you to.._

_"_WHAT THE HELL!"

This is not the movie I expected. That is the last rational thought that enters my head before the prince is on top of me, beating me senseless. I try to shake him off, but the punches just keep on coming.

"How dare you touch my baby girl you piece of shit!" Ugh, the pain.

"DAD! What is going on?!" Emma and Snow rush into the room.

"David get off him!"

I hear the TV Emma screaming in pleasure. The present Emma is screaming in embarrassment as her mother looks over to the tv set. I see Emma from my now one good eye rush over to it and pull out the cord. Snow is jumping on Charming's back to get him off of me. After a minute this works and I am free from his fists. His wife is pulling him back by his shirt.

"We should go now. We'll see you later Emma. Killian." She says as she drags him backwards.

"I'm going to KILL you! I'm going to smother you with a pillow while you're sleeping. I'll tie you to your ship and burn it to ashes. I'll.." he continues on with his murderous rant as they exit the house. Once they are gone there is silence. I'm very happy that Henry is staying with Regina tonight. I turn to Emma to apologize.

"Love, I," _whack._ Now I am being beaten with a CD case. Gods this family is violent. Still worth it though.

"How could you be so STUPID?!" she screeches and hits me again. "Are you trying to ruin everything? Tell me. Why would you put _that_ disk in? It's like I'm dating the village idiot. I should just kill you now and save my dad the trouble. So stupid!" She throws the box at me one last time and heads up the stairs of our loft to our bedroom. I lay there, thinking why fate likes to torture me. Does it get a good laugh at my pain? Is this the price I pay for all the recent happiness? I suppose it matters what disk you put in the machine, it just won't play any movie. Why did we have to film ourselves anyway? _Because it was incredibly hot sex and needed to be documented_. Oh yeah, that's right. Worth it.

Just as I am about to get up from the floor, a heavy bag hits me, knocking me down again.

"What is this love?" I ask, noticing it's a bag of clothes. My clothes. The new ones we had recently gotten from the store where I carved our initials into the wood.

"You can spend the night on the ship, because I swear to God if I see you tonight I will throw your dumb ass in jail and you can spend all of tomorrow stuck with my dad. In a cage." With that she slams the door shut. Great. I get up, look at our bedroom door one last time, and make my way to the front door. As I exit, I pray that this is the worst obstacle we will face in our relationship. But I know that's a fool's dream. True love is hard and messy, and we're just getting started.


End file.
